Ibis A'an Astennu

My hermetic universe is a mess, all my neurons talking to each other, and all at the same time.
Most of them repeating the same words, speeches and questions
others, few, complementing it with new ideas.
Such stars that explode in my head and make up new solar systems of ideas.
Like pantheon Gods that go to sleep and leave the little ones in charge.
I am weary of me, of my ideas.
Like someone to tired to take good care of its people.
Should I stay or should I go?

I am lost beneath the shadows
Like a sea of fast melting darkness that consumes every memory of happiness and desire out of my brain.
I am lost and frozen in motion and emotion.
Like a bird that suddenly, and because of evolution, lost the capability of flight.
Slowly I drown in a whirlpool of nothing.
The water is neither cold nor hot, but a melting pot of ideas that I had and never accomplished.
I am my own vague elusion, a book with too many foot notes and no substance to its references

Lost, lost, lost!!!

Inside myself, between the crowds and in my room!

Dark irregular lines in a white scented sheath! this is the secret, this is how you make your self immortal for a while, while you die!
Nothing can come back!!!
But it can be remembered, traced back.
A book unopened that will never be read
A secret so still that it will never be spoken.